cyber one love clinic

Cyber One Love Clinic is managed by Dra. Love Tilaok and Chai d' Banana.  This page is particularly for love/relationship problems of our members,  frenz & visitors, and the corresponding advices given by reader-selected doctor - Dra. Love Tilaok or Chai d' Banana.    

 How to send your love/relationship problems?

While our clinic is still under construction, you may send email to cyber_one_mail@yahoo.com.  Alternatively, you may pm your story to your selected doctor when you see them in the room.

Meantime, keep on loving and BE INSPIRED!  Just remember to choose the right person for you - one who is free, one who will GROW with you and one who will make you HAPPY.

himig damdamin

ang aking tadhana..

Dear kuya chai,♥

Lumiham po ako sa iyo dahil hirap na hirap na ako sa sitwasyon ko ngayon.Ako po ay isang electrician dito sa Saudi at 37 years old na po ako.Ang akin pong prublema ay.....hayyyyyzzzzzzzzzzz..tungkol po sa pag ibig! Ewan ko po ba at kung bakit pag akoy nagmahal ay todo todo. Dalawang beses na po akong nasiphayo sa pag ibig. Yung una po ay 7 taon kaming naging mag steady at nasa Pinas po sya. Napakasakit po. Ang sumunod naman ay di gaanong matagal. Ngayon naman ang prublema ko ay ang aking minahal sa chat. Sya po ay me isang anak subalit walang asawa..means dalagang ina ...Inako ko na po ang responsibilidad sa kanila kasi talagang gustong gusto ko ng mag asawa. Tanggap na rin po sya ng aking mga magulang. Sa loob ng 3 buwan naming pagiging mag "on"  ay pinapadalha ko sya ng sustento kasi talagang mahal na mahal ko sya talaga. Minsan ay nakarinig ako ng isang napakasamang balita sa chatrum namin. Siya pala ay me iba pang bf. Sobra akong nasaktan at pati ang trabaho ko ay naapektuhan na. Nag resign na tuloy ako sa aking trbaho dahil kahit ako ay gumagawa ng mga linyada ay naaalala ko pa rin sya. Napaka risky po ng trabaho ko at di pedeng ala ako sa sarili habang gumagawa kaya nagpasya na akong umalis labag mas sa loob ko...

 Paano po kaya ang gagawin ko para maka move on? Madami akong napabayaan dahil sa pagmamahal ko sa kanya..Bakit po may mga ganoong klase ng babae????? Wala ba talagang totoo sa chat?

 

Lubos na nasaktan,

Bert of SAUDI ARABIA

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Dear BERT,

First of all...calm down! Hindi guguho ang mundo dahil lang sa isang manlolokong babae. Naiintindihan ko ang naging karanasan mo sa pag ibig subalit di ka dapat na madala at lalong wag kang matakot na di ka na makakapag asawa sa edad mong 37. Tyak malakas pa ang tuhod mo. Ang mahalaga ay maging tama ang mapipili mon gkatuwang sa buhay. Tungkol sa nanloko sa yo,pasalamat ka na lamang at habang maaga ay lumabas ang tunay na pagkatao nya. Kasi naman, wag kang basta basta maiinlab sa chat. Tandaan mo, pede nating maiwasan ang mga bagay na yan. Meron tayong pribilehyong mag desisyon kung mamahalin na ba natin ang isang tao. Pede tayong mamili ng taong mamahalin. Yan ang tinatawag na "be proactive". Gamitin natin ang ating utak at isiping mabuti kung ang mamahalin ba nating tao ay karapat dapat at kung siya ba ang tamang tao para sa pag mamahal mo. Magkaroon ka  ng batayan sa pagpili ng mamahalin. Ang mga batayan mo ay dapat ayon sa iyong mga mithiin. Halimbawa..kung ang hanap mo sa isang babae ay uliran,yung marunong magdala ng pamilya, dapat ang piliin mo ay yung marunong maghanapbuhay at  marunong mag budget. Kung ang mithi mo naman ay isang babeng pambahay lang...wag kang kukuha ng career woman. Kung ang mithi mo naman ay parang flower vase..yung pandisplay lang, eh di hanap ka ng maganda at sexy. Well, mas maganda syempre kung ang matatagpuan mong babae ay taglay ang lahat ng katangiang yan. Pero kung hindi..dahil sa panahon ngayon,mahirap ng makatagpo n gperpektong babae...mamili ka na lang ng ayon sa panlasa mo..Oo nga pala,kung ayaw mo ng sakit ng ulo ng byenan..hanap ka ng ulila na! haahhaa biro lang! By the way,para maka move on ka...look at the bright side of the situation. Isipin mo na lang na naligtas ka sa kapahamakan. At talagang di sya ang para sa iyo. Isipin mo Bert..37 years mo iningatan ang virginity mo tapos sa isang second hand ka alng mapupunta!! hahaha jokeeeee...tawa naman!! Kung pede balikanmo ang trbaho mo at wag mong idamay ito. Wag kang paapekto,paano na ang future family mo kung wala kang trabaho? Wag ka na ding magtanong kung bakit me mga ganung klaseng babae na manloloko..Ang sagot don ay simple lang....kasi me mga nagpapalokong lalaki na gaya mo. Inuulit ko gamitin ang utak sa pagpili ng makakatuwang sa buhay. Dapat balanse ang dikta ng puso at ang rason ng utak. O sya...see u sa rum 122 ha...

 

Best regards,

Chai d' banana

BReaK UP?? THEN move on !

Dear Dra Love Tilaok,

Itago mo na lang po ako sa pangalang..ghing,28 yrs old at kasalukuyang nakatira sa Manila. Isasangguni ko sana ang tungkol sa aking bf na kanina lang ay ex bf na. We broke up ng dahil lang sa avatar. Inilagay ko kasi ang picture nya sa avatar ko coz am so proud of him saka mahal na mahal ko po talaga sya.

Nagkakilala po kami sa isang chatrum,nagsimula sa isang hi and hello. Matapos ang ilang beses na pagchachat namin at palitang ng txt ay naging magkami na po. Masaya po ako pag kausap ko sya,ganun din sya . Masasabi ko ring mahal nya ako at totoo sya sa akin dahil ramdam ko naman iyon. Naging napakakulay ng aming lovelife..siya ang naging inspirasyon ko. Pero me mga bagay na hindi ko gusto sa kanya. Yun ay ang pagiging seloso nya ng wala sa lugar at ang pag iisip ng di maganda sa kin. Nagseselos po sya pag me nag hi and hello sa akin sa chatrum...ayaw nya ng magpapaview ako sa iba...ayaw din nya ng makikipag pm ako sa iba....madami syang sinasabi sa akin na kesyo ganito ganoon ako na wala naman syang katibayan. At kapag nangatwiran naman ako,ito ay nauuwi lang sa aming pag tatalo. Ganun pa man..palagi pa rin kaming nagkakabalikan sa kabila ng madalas naming pagtatalo. Mahal kasi namin ang isat isa kaya di kami makatiis na di kami mag bati.

Hanggang isang araw nga..ay nagalit sya dahil inilagay ko ang picture nya sa avatar ko. Baka daw kasi makita ng mga ex gf nya. Napuno na talaga ako at yun ay nauwi sa brake up....Ano ang masasabi mo Dra love Tilaok? Dapat ko na ba siyang kalimutan?

                                           Yours truly.......crying ghing

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Dear Ghing,

Hi ..greetings !! Hmmnnn...masarap magmahal at mahalin...pero masakit masaktan..di ba? Kung talagang nagmamahalan kayo ng totoo,dapat pareho kayong me tiwala sa isat isa. Love is not selfish...love is giving and  if you really love someone,all you want to do is to please him/her and do everything that will make him/her happy. He got jealous coz he has fear of one kind or another. He has fear of abandonment,fear of loss of love,fear of being dishonored in your relationship. When jealous feelings come up, it's usualy because he is afraid of some unresolved issues from past relationship and he wants to cover or mask for things from the past that haven't healed yet. Siguro me masama syang nakaraan at ayaw nya itong maulit muli sa inyo. Pero kahit daw gaano pa ang pagmamahal ng isang tao ay nawawala din yun kung nasasaktan ka na...at pag dumating ang oras na mapuno ka na,ay magdesisyon ka na dumistansya sa kanya.

Kung ang dahilan ng break up nyo ay ang avatar lang..napakababaw na dahilan nito. Kung mahal ka nya talaga,hindi nya iisipin anuman ang sasabihin ng iba. Saka bakit pa nya iniisip ang mga ex nya,eh ikaw ang present ngayon?!

Hayaan mo na lang sya..break kung break. Break-ups can be extremely difficult and painful,but the important thing to remember is that break-up is not yet the end of the world!! Makakatagpo ka pa rin ng para sa yo,the more deserving one. Always remember that time heals all wounds...cheer up and try to move on...pasok lang sa rum 122 at baka andun pala ang right man mo..hihihihii..

Regards,

                                                    Dra Love Tilaok

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Dear chai,

Hello to you and to the Cyber one Family which i truly admire for the kind of values you have in your room. Needless to say,that is not common to chat rooms. Anyway,i write in the hope that you can give me an advice,

I am 34 yrs old,bank teller in Quezon City,happily married before our second child was born. My husband is a pastor in a religious community here and is a lawyer. My problem started a year after my second child was born. We discovered that he is deaf. Now he is six yrs old and all of this years,I am always in trouble with the family because my husband and my first son are discriminating my second child named Epiphany or Fanny for short. I pity my second child because of his situation but i also pity my husband for feeling ashamed that his second child is deaf,considering he is a pastor. My son is also teasing Fanny saying her name should be spelled Funny instead. Whenever I correct my elder child who is a "junior" to my husaband bearing his name Efipanio,my husband will always give his side to his side to his namesake. Recently,i could not take Fanny to his friend and family. (my husband by the way belongs to affluent family) How can i amke them accept Fanny? And how can i make them love her? Being the mother, i love my kids equally but my husband and my elder kid complain that i am bias to Fanny. They cannot understand that the reason i am giving Fanny an extra attention is because of her disability.Please give me some advice. Iam terribly pissed off with my husband's attitude towards Fanny especially when he suggested that we just send Fanny to some sort of a home for disabled. Please help me kuya Chai. Maybe your other family members can also give their advices.

Thank you and more power,

Therese

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Dear Therese,

 

I could feel how u feel. Foremost,it's really a pity that a religious person could not accept a deaf child. This kind of person though is not new to me  having been in a sectarian school for 10 yrs and having seen my contradictions between my religious teachers (nuns and laymen) teach and what they do. I can imagine you contesting him in this area too.

I suggest you to cool down awhile and avoid confrontations with your husband and junior. There are many schools for the deaf in metro Manila nowadays. You better bring your child to one of them and inquire about her schooling and know her prospects of progress. I know many of them learn how to talk too aside from learning sign language. In fact,some of the deaf even learned to play a guitar and learned how to sing.

Once you know the prospects of Fanny,it would be the time for you to talk with  your husband and later with your elder son. When you talk with your husband about Fanny,make sure you are in the coolest mind. Do not ever be on a combative mood as it well just be bound to fail. Do not also let your children see u and your husband talk about Fanny.

 

Maybe it's better to talk with your husband while in bed and make sure he is in the right mood. You are in the position toknow when your husband is in his best mood or a situation when he cannot say no to you-perhaps after some romantic moments. A roaring tiger invites an enemy but a charming serpent invites a willing victim. Timing could be a leverage. Tell him that Fanny can actually be a family's pride. Try to share with him the achievements of other deaf students in the school which i believe are plenty. Point out that it could actually lend him credence if his churchmates would know how compassionate and loving he is to a special child. Show him the promising side that Fanny has. When you get your husband accpetance of Fanny, he himself will become a change agent that can influence Junior to become more brotherly to Fanny.

I hope you will be able to use your wits and charm to turn your family into a happy on and once again..

All the best......Kuya Chai